My mom is against my relationship because my boyfriend is Roma
Mia Krpan<br />
The other day my mother saw me with a boy who is Roma, he could not finish secondary school because he had problems and now he works at 17 and at 18 he will get a permanent job. My mother went crazy because I was with Roma and she has such prejudices about him and she did not even meet him. I have known my boyfriend for 3 years and we are in a relationship close to a year. The boyfriend is great and he loves me, respects me, and protects me and he is also my best friend, my mom does not even want to listen to me. She wants to take my cell phone and forbid me to go out and she said she would go to the welfare centre and tell them everything and I will have to go with her. I was wondering might they take my side in this argument? What can happen now? Please, give me your opinion.
I see that you really care about your boyfriend and that it is important to you that your mother does not have a bad opinion of him. I also see that you find it important to have a good foundation in a relationship, and some of them are certainly respect, understanding, and trust.
The social welfare centre certainly cannot forbid you from seeing a boyfriend based on the fact that he has not finished school or that he is a Roma.
The best thing you can do is try to smooth things over with your mom. You say your mom only saw you with your boyfriend the other day, and you have been together for a year. Surely, no parent is comfortable finding out that their child has been hiding something from them, especially for so long, so it is possible that the mother is still trying to figure out what she thinks about the whole situation.
For starters, try to think of everything you want to tell your mom and arrange a time to talk to her when you are both calm. You can announce to your mother that you would like to talk to her calmly, without quarrels, and that you would like to share a lot with her. You can also write down exactly what you want to say so you do not forget because sometimes when we are very excited about a topic, we forget what we wanted to say. You can explain to your mother which foundations you consider important in the relationship (as you wrote nicely above) and thus show that you feel good, happy, and safe with him and give her a few examples of how he shows you that he respects and loves you. You can also explain to her why you hid the relationship from her because she will surely be hurt that you did not confide in her for so long.
In order for both of you to better state what you think and how you feel, it is important to remember some rules in communication: avoid accusations (“You always…” “You never…” etc.), and instead you can say how you feel when you hear some words or sentences (for example: “When you say something, I feel…” etc.), do not interrupt the other person when expressing how it feels and thinks, do not shout. It is important that you both express your feelings and come to a mutual agreement.