I have an older boyfriend – does he see a future with me?

Mia Krpan<br />

Mia Krpan<br />

mag. psych.

I am 15 years old and my boyfriend is 30. We have been hiding for about 9 months and no one knows about us because of the law. He is good to me and we get along well. I am not sure if he thinks he has a future with me.

Since you did not mention you had sexual relations with your boyfriend, I will refer to the law first since you were in a relationship even before you turned 15 years old. In the Republic of Croatia, the age limit for consent to sexual intercourse is 15 years. Article 158 of the Criminal Code (Official Gazette, No. 125/11, 144/12, 56/15, 61/15, 101/17) stipulates that whoever has sexual intercourse, or a sexual act equated with it with a child under the age of fifteen or induces a child to have sexual intercourse or a sexual act equated with it with a third person or to perform a sexual act equated with sexual intercourse against itself, shall be punished by imprisonment for a term between one and ten years. Whoever commits a lewd act against a child under the age of fifteen or causes it to commit a lewd act with another person or commits a lewd act against itself, shall be punished by imprisonment for a term between six months and five years. There shall be no criminal offense referred to in paragraphs 1 and 2 of this Article if the age difference between persons who have sexual intercourse or a sexual act equated with it or a lewd act does not exceed three years. Therefore, until you turned 15 you were breaking the law, however that is no longer applicable. 

It is definitely good and positive that he is good to you and that you get along nicely. In general, serious and healthy relationships between two people have a lot of qualities and advantages, so you can consider whether the following characteristics apply to your relationship, because they can also mean that the relationship will last or have a future. Healthy relationships are characterized by trust between partners, respect, appreciation and acceptance of each other’s differences, partners in them sincerely express what they feel and think, communicate openly, and support each other. Regarding your question whether he thinks he has a future with you, unfortunately I cannot provide an answer. I suggest you encourage a conversation with him on the subject and tell him how you feel and what you would like and what you hope for. Since it is important that you feel safe in a relationship and that you can talk openly and honestly with your partner, then it is definitely in your best interest to talk about what interests you.